you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
