I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
