I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
