now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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