He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
