just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
