put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
