well I can't set my house on fire every night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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