Pappa wants mamma naked
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
