I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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