Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
