I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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