Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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