saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
