EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
