Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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