I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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