Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
