A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She bit a glass in half.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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