You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
