Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i love accidental penises.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
being pregnant is like rehab
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She needs sedatives and a leash
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
