What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I think im going to throw up on grandma
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
