I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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