I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
