he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
