He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
