we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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