Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
