I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
