So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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