it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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