so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
