is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
