thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Fuck appropriateness.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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