is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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