she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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