It's Friday. Sex?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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