I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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