take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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