Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
