she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
