you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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