bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You are a genius and a whore.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
