He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
