I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
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