hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
