I look better un-naked...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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