shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
