We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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