I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I wish i was in the wii world.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
